God spoke to me?!

The issue of God speaking to people is pretty touchy. Its a classic excuse for behaviour when we're too afraid to figure out what's really happening in our heads. You've all heard or used the classic, "God told me to break up with you." What of course is really meant is, I don't want to date you anymore. To abuse such a statement is the closest thing I can think of to, 'taking God's name in vain.'

I know, I may sound really cynical here, but as I rule if someone attaches the words, "God told me..." to any statement my instant reaction is to run, very fast, in the opposite direction. This is for several reasons. First of all, you can't reason with that person. If they say, God told me this, the dialogue ends. They are not interested in what you have to say. Second of all, very often "God" tells us exactly what we want to hear.

Given this attitude about such things, it came as quite a surprise to me this week when I felt that God was really trying to tell me something.

I had the strongest impression that something that I had written was very significant, I couldn't shake it for a moment, even when I really wanted to. (For example, I had a copy-editing test the next hour that I had yet to study for!) I had no idea why it was important, or what was important, but I knew something was. I told people, God is teaching me something so insane today, I don't even know what it is.

Later in the day, events fell into place that absolutely blew me away. Searching for some thoughts that were not my own, I started reading some articles by professionals on this subject that I was struggling with. I opened one article and the first sentence I read made me stop breathing. It was a very obscure sentence, an obscure analogy. But it was the same sentence I'd written earlier in the day, in the middle of three pages I had written, this sentence stood alone, it wasn't part of a paragraph, or even a coherent thought. It was just an image that I could not get out of my mind, so I wrote it down. Beside it I had written, "I don't know why I'm writing this." And now, hours later, after writing a blog about how strongly I felt that I had written something important, I was reading it again, in this article.

I can hardly remember a moment when I have been more excited. I felt like God had just tapped me on the shoulder and said, 'hey, remember me.'

(I went onto to read an article that expressed everything I had been feeling, but was unable to articulate.)

So do I think I'm hypocritical to think that God was speaking to me that day? I don't think so. I don't think God tells us to do things as much as He teaches us things. What I learned that day was so impressed upon my heart, that no number of coincidences or strange occurrences would have made it more true for me. The only reaction that such a strange experience brought me was a deeper understanding that I am on a journey. It was a reminder that as I struggle with thoughts that are so overwhelming, God is with me.

It had less to do with confirming a truth in my mind, as it had to do with reminding me that my own wisdom does not get me anywhere, and that I rely on God.

I believe what I learned that day is true, but this conclusion has nothing to do with strange occurrences. It is based on the journey I have been on up to that point, based on what I believe the Bible teaches me, based on what people around me, who I greatly respect, have told me, and yes, even based on my feelings. I believe the role God plays is to bring all of those together for me, in a way that I could not have imagined.

This doesn't scare me like I thought it would. As long as I'm open to what else I am going to learn, and can be open to realizing things I think today may be wrong, then I do not think there is harm in feeling that these things are from God.

After all, what role does the Holy Spirit play in our lives?