Sometimes you just need to say what needs to be said.

Well surprisingly I'm still around. My writing has certainly been neglected over the past month or so, but with a new semester, routine and year I'm sure things will improve. I've actually been writing something for a couple weeks now, but its just still sitting at the tip of my tongue. It'll fall off one of these days, which will be a nice relief I think.

In other news:

• Its a new year, and a new semester. It's good to be back at school. When it comes down to it I like school, although I forget from time to time. The line up for this semester is: Creative Writing Part II (hooray!), History of Christianity, Classical Rhetorical Theory, Seventeenth Century Literature and Criticism II. Admittedly not the most exciting semester, but maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised.
• New Years resolution: to do three hours of homework everyday (except Tuesday and Thursday when I go to class). This would be the biggest thing that has ever happened in my life, so wish me luck. Historically, I do very very little homework. But I've realized that although I've done well in all my classes, I've really not learned a whole lot since high school, and have decided to take a more active role in my education. Yes, sir. I'm going to be a nerd this semester and see where it takes me. Watch out!
• I'm going to start looking for a job this weekend, that'll be something new.
• I wrote a poem today. I had to have one for my first class in Creative Writing. (It's really exciting to be in this class, since only fifteen people in the university get in and you have to get the professor's approval. I'm completely intimidated, but I'm going to make the most of it.)
• I realized that my poems are like my children. (Not that I have any children...but say if I did.) When it comes down to it, I love them because they are a part of me. However, like children, they definitely have their moments when they: annoy, upset, embarrass, anger and torture me.

I'll leave you with my poem. Please comment if you would like. I like comments and criticism and even cussing. I havn't had anyone try to make sense of it, and I have a strong conviction that it is impossible to understand. ;) I'm still learning what it means, but class is in an hour. I realize it's quite newborn. But I hope it'll grow into something good.

you wanted me to wear happiness

Happiness didn’t seem to fit so I
slipped back into misery’s dress,
silk blue and perfect for waltzing, alone
between the naked walls of an abandoned farmhouse that
stands white in the winter’s moonlight, like a
forgotten bride, alone
before the night sky, her discontented lover,
littered with paper stars,
that will carelessly fall and dissolve on my tongue
so I’ll taste the bitterness of this cold.

I will leave your party lights and
walk through the park to
write all those recycled love songs
on the sheets of snow.
No, I won’t.
I will just speak those unsettling words
to the night in foreign languages that
I do not understand, like
Milton’s daughters' speaking
Hebrew and Latin to a blind man,
uttering sounds of words
they would never really read.

Maria Vermeer