Women in the Church, Part II: Respect?

I'm starting to notice two tendencies, in myself and those around me, in responding to the issue of women in leadership within the church. 1) To think the problem is going to go away, and soon or 2) To acknowledge the problem, but not really give it validity by doing anything to promote change.

I can't help but believe the church is only being hurt by its exclusion of women, so these responses are falling short for me.

If 50% of potential leadership is not being developed or put to use, I'd say we have a very significant problem on our hands. Brandon quoted Rosemary Radford Reuther at The Embassy on Monday night. She says that the more one becomes a feminist, the harder it is to go to church. I can't help but agree with this. Maybe women are not only undeveloped as leaders, but maybe once they discover their worth in God's eyes, they are pushed from the church altogether.

If I had not moved to Waterloo, and been fortunate enough to find a church that is open to addressing tough questions, I don't think I'd still be going to church. Even taking communion at the church I grew up in is very hard for me. Many times I've felt like I shouldn't even take it. I'd watch the line of men stream in from the back of the sanctuary and sit at the front, preparing to serve. "This is such a boy's club," I whisper to Andrew, trying to make him laugh and make light of the situation. But I'm supposed to be focusing on Christ, and forgiving others, and yet I'm so angry and hurt and helpless.

I keep asking myself, what do we look for in a leader? Don't we look for someone who we can learn from, and listen to? A leader is someone we can look up to, because they challenge us, listen to us, and tell us the truth even when we don't want to hear it. Most of all, a leader is someone we can respect.

I can't help but think then, that respect is the fundamental issue in the exclusion of women from church leadership. If women can't be leaders, are we not saying that women cannot be respected by everyone?

Yes, it's more subtle than that, but that doesn't make it less harmful.

I think this addresses the, "Well how big of a problem is this?" attitude. The people that say, "Sure, we need to have more women as leaders, but it's not essential, since they are able to serve and surely God can work through them. Eventually women will most likely play a more equal role, but this isn't a primary concern, or a crisis. When it happens that's good, until then..."

But, if the issue of women in leadership is respect, then we have a crisis. We have a problem of not viewing people the way God sees them. That is serious, is it not?

If the root of the issue is respect, will the disrespect of women simply disappear with a new generation?

I find this hard to believe. If the church is not making a conscious effort to address this, then where will this new found respect come from? I have a hard time imagining it coming from secular society, that gets such a kick out of objectifying women. (Anyone watch a movie lately?)

Fifty percent of men who attended a Promise Keepers stadium event said they had viewed pornography within a week of attending. Fifty-four percent of pastors have viewed porn within the past year. Maybe this is something that the church is merely not challenging in our society, or maybe attitudes in the church are even perpetuating this..I don't know. (A church that excludes women from teaching and leadership, puts less of an emphasis on their minds, and more of an emphasis on their bodies. Again, what are women doing? Taking care of children and serving coffee...You put the pieces together.)

But with statistics like this floating around, I can't really believe people who tell me there isn't a problem with how women are viewed by Christian men.

And maybe not addressing the issue of respect of women in the church, is hurting men just as much as women?

I read a forum about women in the church, and one mother lashed out at another woman (who had claimed that she could be in church leadership). The mother said, "I'm sorry, (name), but my son needs men that are good role models; people he can look up to. I'm sorry, but I wouldn't want you leading my son's youth group."

I wish I could have told that mother what her son really needed was some women who were good role models. Women that he could be taught to look up to and respect, and women who could counteract the cesspool of images and ideas about women that culture is going to throw at him.

Either way, I'm starting to believe that this problem is a self-perpetuating mixture of culture and church problems, and a bit too deeply rooted to go away without being consciously changed. Maybe I'm wrong. That would be nice. Or maybe putting women in leadership won't solve the problem, maybe that's just the first step.